Thanks, bud. I got a lot of practice doing Ptolemy’s because—bless—he was always a disaster at it.
My long hiatus had naught to do with me. A very rude and cruel magician trapped me in a beverage container, and of course once it had gone flat, no one would open it to release me! I was veritably drowning in lime soda! The unfortunate bloke who finally opened my prison got a faceful of a rather fiery (completely uncontrollable) belch that, sadly, incinerated him on the spot. There’s a moral in there somewhere, and I think it’s not to ever put me in a small, dark, vile space against my will. Just a good general rule, I think. Doesn’t turn out well for anyone.
Oh, being a marid doesn’t seem like all it’s cracked up to be. You’ve seen a few of them, probably. Their essences are so bloated, they rarely have the capacity for any witty, verbal sparring or even any real indication of a personality. They just cut right to the chase, them. Which I would find awfully boring.
I’m perfect where I am, thanks.
There are a handful of very powerful entities that even I would hesitate to go up against, given the extent of their reach and their incalculable advantages. The Mouse and his merry band of corporate lawyers is one of them.1
1I, Bartimaeus of Uruk, have never attempted to capitalize on the names, images, or reputation of The Walt Disney Company, though I am immensely grateful to them for their instrumental work in publishing the accounts of my life in the United States through their subsidiary, Hyperion Books. You chaps are a class act. Really.
I don’t get a chance to sample the current cultural zeitgeist that often, and the music tends to blur together after a while, but I have gotten some truly inspired ideas for spooking my next master, which are positively devilish.
That’s fine. Freedom of the seas and all that.
But I want to be captain.
I don’t normally wear any (when the only clothes you wear are physically part of your essence, then what’s the point?), but I swiped these out of Nat’s closet. They’re quite beguiling, don’t you think?
((OOC: I was going to answer some question with this sketch, but I don’t remember what the question was about or what I was even thinking when I drew this. So: sorry for not updating lately, and here’s a sketchy Bart with a rolling pin. Apparently.))