Anonymous ASKED:
quick, if you had to become a stripper, what would your stripper name be

Araby Swan.

Anonymous ASKED:
Bart, your kohl is always so perfect.

Thanks, bud. I got a lot of practice doing Ptolemy’s because—bless—he was always a disaster at it. 

My long hiatus had naught to do with me. A very rude and cruel magician trapped me in a beverage container, and of course once it had gone flat, no one would open it to release me! I was veritably drowning in lime soda! The unfortunate bloke who finally opened my prison got a faceful of a rather fiery (completely uncontrollable) belch that, sadly, incinerated him on the spot. There’s a moral in there somewhere, and I think it’s not to ever put me in a small, dark, vile space against my will. Just a good general rule, I think. Doesn’t turn out well for anyone.

fortooate ASKED:
What would you do first if you were a marid?

Oh, being a marid doesn’t seem like all it’s cracked up to be. You’ve seen a few of them, probably. Their essences are so bloated, they rarely have the capacity for any witty, verbal sparring or even any real indication of a personality. They just cut right to the chase, them. Which I would find awfully boring. 

I’m perfect where I am, thanks. 

Anonymous ASKED:
Bart, your most recent hairstyle (from the music ask, specifically) reminds me of Mickey Mouse.

There are a handful of very powerful entities that even I would hesitate to go up against, given the extent of their reach and their incalculable advantages. The Mouse and his merry band of corporate lawyers is one of them.1

—-

1I, Bartimaeus of Uruk, have never attempted to capitalize on the names, images, or reputation of The Walt Disney Company, though I am immensely grateful to them for their instrumental work in publishing the accounts of my life in the United States through their subsidiary, Hyperion Books. You chaps are a class act. Really. 

I don’t get a chance to sample the current cultural zeitgeist that often, and the music tends to blur together after a while, but I have gotten some truly inspired ideas for spooking my next master, which are positively devilish

That’s fine. Freedom of the seas and all that. 

But I want to be captain.

I don’t normally wear any (when the only clothes you wear are physically part of your essence, then what’s the point?), but I swiped these out of Nat’s closet. They’re quite beguiling, don’t you think?

((OOC: I was going to answer some question with this sketch, but I don’t remember what the question was about or what I was even thinking when I drew this. So: sorry for not updating lately, and here’s a sketchy Bart with a rolling pin. Apparently.))

((OOC: I was going to answer some question with this sketch, but I don’t remember what the question was about or what I was even thinking when I drew this. So: sorry for not updating lately, and here’s a sketchy Bart with a rolling pin. Apparently.))